my 2 a.m. epiphany

Have you ever had an epiphany about the meaning of life while you lay awake at 2:07 am? Me neither. But, I did recently experience a sudden jolt of clarity at that unfortunate hour. The thing I couldn’t stop thinking about is that I used to really love daisies. I even decorated my college dorm room with a bright yellow and blue daisy comforter and accessories. But, around the ripe old age of 21, I realized that I was too mature for daisies. I mean, what self-respecting, Aristotle-reading, soon-to-be law student likes daisies? Especially one as solemn and sarcastic as me? So, I moved on from daisies and kind of forgot that I ever liked them.
What’s the moral of my story, you ask? I guess it’s that I just realized I want daisies back in my life. Yes, I did go out and buy a lovely bouquet of pink Gerbera Daisies the day after my early morning epiphany. But, what I really desire are all those things the daisies of my past represent – appreciation of simple beauty, hope, contentment, and most importantly, dreams. Looking back, it seems like my ability to dream withered and died not long after the daisies faded away. I stopped believing that the dreams and goals of my youth were achievable. And, I’ve never really accepted that those dreams can be replaced with new ones.
So, here I am, putting my daisy epiphany out into the universe via the blogosphere.  I consider myself a fairly private person and I don’t know how many times I’ve said that blogging is not my thing. That feeling hasn’t changed, but what has is the realization that if I really put myself out there, maybe I’ll be surprised by what I get out of it. I know now that it’s time to stop worrying about what other people think about my career decisions, my decorating style, my favorite movies and music, my clothes, my favorite foods, and even my choice of hobbies. It’s time to start accepting the positive things that my adult self can offer the world and let go of the expectations of my younger self. And, it’s about dang time that I let myself dream again even if that means finding a way to coordinate the daisies of my past with the damask of my present.
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5 thoughts on “my 2 a.m. epiphany

  1. Heather, I have spent 30 something married years worring about all of the above and I am here to tell you it is a big fat waste of time. The only person you need to make happy is yourself (and of course Charles) and everyone else will get over it. Forge your own path, do your own thing and dream big! You only get one chance so make it count for YOU! . Follow your bliss, what ever that might be. No one knows what the future holds but you have to be an active part of today and then your future will begin to unfold. Love the look of your new site and looking forward to keeping up with you and Charles through your posts.

  2. I like your epiphany. Anyway we can help, we will. I am still trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up. There is a big world out there for you. Enjoy it.

  3. Just found out you’re blogging now. I love that you’re doing this! Good for you. I forgot about the daisies. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to never stop dreaming.

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